hmz.. this entry.. dont noe how to be crappy.. hahaz.. so think will be quita boring larhz.. kz.. let's start..

Gaining an edusave seems as though a big thing has happen in my life.. it holds lot of meaning to me, not just because it worth 500 dollars.. it holds many perservation, determination and believes. Let c how mani meaning it holds within me.

1. My effort is finally paid off !! Been called a nerd by mani friendz.. then need to tolerate their jokes.. hahaz.. but then all my tolerence is finally paid off and i could have a sum of money. Months of studying, months of scolding by parents, months of tolerence have been dimished by a single letter...

2. Of cus, it also help mi in future when i going to JC. Cause now, going into JC have so many cateria.. having two certificates prove to be helpful. Dont noe whether it helps when i finding work cause it is onli sec 1 and 2 standard but then juz show them juz fer fun, joy and laughter.. hahaz..

3. It also stop my mother from nagging at me. She keep asking me to read more books, read textbook, do revision and bla bla bla. Who will like to spend half of his/her lifetime studying? Books only give you knowledge but not experiences. You need to experience it personally then you gain an upperhand of the knowledge you study.

4. It also give me pride and able me to think that i am still useful in today's world. I do not know how to joke or make people happy. I seemed as though i am useless if my studies are lousy. I not good in sports, music or in group discussion. For pride reasons is that my sister went to bukit panjang government high, but then i went to clementi town. She in bukit panjang gov. high also can get third in class lorhz.. and she also in sec 2. i only get fourth in class. Moreover, most of my relatives go to raffles instition or gov. high schools. Able to acheive scholarship also bring pride not only to me, but to my family.

5. Able to see my parents happy, make me happy too. I use their hard-earned money every year and never had the chance to repay them back. I also dont like to do things that is against my wishes so i didnt go out wif them during family outing day, only when it is their birthday. very unfillial horx... but then i prefer to stay at home.. and going against my wishes will not do me or them ani good. Then when my mother try to give me extra money like today, when she want to give me $15, i ask her to give $5.. but then i always go out will ask her money de mahz.. like this saturday, which i will be going to Jurong east Swimming pool.. i ask her to give $20.. hahaz.. so make no difference.. but then i try to minimize the spending larhz.. so will not increase their workload or spend too much of their moeny.

Think that all the reason of receiving the edusave reward baz... thats why i am so happy to receive it. Juz a simple letter could mean alot of things to me. It will mean more to someone. haiz.. do not noe why i feel quite depressed now.. maybe i juz feel bored baz.. tmr got tuition.. sad thing is that the dinner treat is postpone to nxt fridae.. haiz.. I WANNA TMR!! nxt week i go watch movie baz.. tmr juz stay at home do maths project.. i also need to buy a pen.. todae find one pen also so hard to find.. dont noe where all the pen gone to le. So i cannot do my work.. hahaz.. dumb ritz.. yepz... tmr abt 12 i go popular there and buy 4 pens.. and some refills.. hmz.. tmr will be quite a boring day.. wonder whether i can go out wif anione.. hahaz.. bu yao lian.. i think June holiday i will be accompaning wonder bro's or YISS members le.. dont wish to mix wif too mani CTSS members.. hahaz.. mi life is getting pathetic.. I WANT TO TRANSFER!! after school, i hope i can see YISS friendz when i take 106... haiz.. y cant my family be more flexible in dealing towards my secondary life.. my teenage life is feel wif boredom, saddness, and despair (WOW! i juz discover a new work that is hidden deeply in mi brain... hahaz.. which means i dont remember this word.. juz that now it suddenly popped out within mi brain.. hahaz..)

I am very confused now.. many questions have been unanswered.. not only that i dont wish to noe the answers.. some of the answers cant be answer.. let mi put it in here... hahaz.. quite bu yao lian la.. but then.. juz write fer fun... and some question is based presently and not the past.. hope u get wat i mean

1. Who I realli like?
2. Does she like me?
3. Who can i still trust as a friend?
4. Which direction in my life am i heading?
5. Do i still treat him as a friend?
6. Am I Happy with my life?
7. What truth or thing am i seeking?
8. Do i still like her?
9. Does my life has to be controlled by my parents?
10. Do I want to be in love?
11. Is my studies good enough?
12. Who care abt me?
13. Does money really Control people actions and thinking?
14. How do i ever control my thinking and actions?
15. Do I wish to be with her?
16. Will we ever be together if i wait for her?
17. Do i have the determination to wait for her?
18. What does life mean to me?
19. Will i ever find the way out of this loneliness and sadness?
20. What are the bad points i have?

I wish everyone who reading this blog will reply the 20th questions.. juz email mi if u have time.. juz do mi a favour.. i wish to change to a much better person.. hahaz.. although a person cant be perfect.. but he can be better.. much close to being perfect.. kz le.. nothing .. tata


posted - 11:28 PM