haiz...feel extremely depressed now...juz fer some reaso..is not abt stress tt it..it seems lyk..haiz..rix..ya told mi to be happi..but i guess juz have to disappoint u..does honest wordz betrayed u sometyms...isnt honesty is the best policy..it seems lyk it is all crap..muz i lie to save a smile...muz i lie juz to gain a person's heart..if i was to lie in order to acheive results..i will..i would..after tt incident..i keep lieing to miself...look at the moon..and keep saeing that i do not lyk her..but i cant..if a person deceive himself..he will lose all identity..lose himself..lose his spirit..muz a person deceive himself in order to live in this world..does he or she had to pretend nothing has happened around him juz to be happi..muz one's be ignorant juz to save his face..muz one's had to be ignorant juz to forget his sadness...i tried to be ignorant juz to forget the sadness...but every nitz..every sleepz..these emotion will spill out..it shows the upmost sadness..depressed mood in mi heart..these wordz cant juz be put into wordz...not even a thousand word could expressed this exact sadness i felt.. sometyms..i wonder..i kept on tinking, why do pple hide their feelings and be pretendious around his surroundings..why i am ignorant.. i juz keep tinking..pondering..the original self is in mi and yet i choose to avoid it..why...why.......if things had to be lyk this..i do not noe wat to do..i tried every means to look at other person's view..but juz could not make complicated things simple..everything is complicated..i took a deep breath every exam paper during the end-of-year exam..keep giving mi confidence..giving mi strength to survive upon this torturous event..but it is juz mental support..i tried to make miself forget by becoming active..but i couldnt..if one thing had to change..muz we realli accept it..muz we leave it up to fate..muz we face up to reality..ever since tt moment..tt time ever happened..mi heart is sanking lower and deeper every time..once a few moment..it will able to gasp fer a little wenny air...but after that it sank deeper ever before..deeper deeper it went..wif no endings...wif no idea when it will float up once more and c the true self..but now..it kepy sanking and sanking...


posted - 10:10 PM